Ode to a Claims Adjuster ... or something like that

by Lisa

I wish I could tell you who wrote this one, but I can't. Anyway, it's all over the place now. Just in case you haven't heard it ...

Last night as I lay sleeping, I died or so it seemed,
Then I went to heaven, but only in my dream.

Up there St. Peter met me, standing at the pearly gates,
And said "I must check your record. Please stand here and wait."

He turned and said "Your record is covered with terrible flaws,
On earth I see you rallied for every losing cause.

I see that you drank alcohol and smoked and used drugs too.
Fact is, you've done everything a good person should never do.

We can't have people like you up here. You life was full of sin."
Then he read the last of my record, took my hand and said "Come in."

He led me up to the Big Boss and said "Take him in and treat him well,
He used to be an adjuster, he's done his time in hell."

(retired claims adjuster)

Website manager note: We do like to give credit where credit is due, but it does appear that there are a few different versions of this sonnet out there and the original author is unknown. If anyone would like to take credit for being the original author this poem, please let us know. Thank you.

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